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The Blaine Truth

We did an interview with magician, David Blaine, just before he was put in his glass box, did he pull any rabbits out of hats for us or do any card tricks - well, no he did cut off his ear at the press conference later - quite a trick, anyway before that he lent his ear (geddit?) to our questions.

Bananas: Well hello Mr Blaine

Blaine: Well howdy Bananas

Bananas: So if we can start by asking is it a trick or are you doing it for real?

Blaine: It's a trick, do you think I'm crazy? You think I'd starve myself for 42 days in a crappy little glass box?

Bananas: But that's deceiving people.

Blaine: I was only joking, I am doing it for real, it's not a trick.

Bananas: So you are crazy?

Blaine: Well you'd have to be to do the idiotic things I do.

Bananas: Have you seen a psychiatrist about it?

Blaine: Yes but he said he'd rather walk over red hot coals than have me as a patient.

Bananas: And what did you say to that?

Blaine: I said I'd done that, and that it wouldn't be much to suffer rather than treat me.

Bananas: When did you walk over red hot coals?

Blaine: Last week for a warm up, geddit?

Bananas: Oh ha ha very funny David

Blaine: I have my moments, want to hear the one about the nun in the brothel?

Bananas: Er no thank you

Blaine: You see there was this nun that visited a brothel, and ... 

Bananas: I said no thanks David, now if I could just ... 

Blaine: It's a good one.

Bananas: I'd rather ask you about the stunt in the box thing.

Blaine: It's not a stunt it's an illusion.

Bananas: So it is a trick?

Blaine: No it's an illusion.

Bananas: What's the difference?

Blaine: A trick is what Paul Daniels does.

Bananas: No irritate the fuck out of everyone is what Paul Daniels does.

Blaine: Right, I do illusions.

Bananas: But an illusion is a trick.

Blaine: No, an illusion is what Houdini did when he used to escape from the locked box.

Bananas: Well if we could get back to the illusion in your glass box, it's going to get awful boring in there all that time - what are you gong to do to pass the time?

Blaine: I'm gonna catch up with some knitting.

Bananas: Oh ... So you're not going to have a sly wank then under the covers, when things get monotonous?

Blaine: That too.

Bananas: Well forgive me if I don''t shake hands with you, but thanks for the interview, its been a pleasure.

Blaine: (Holding hand out to shake) I haven't been masturbating today.

Bananas: I'd rather not though, if it's all the same to you.