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Richard and Judy
 
Richard and Judy are an institution (and many say they should be in an institution - especially Richard (have you seen him?! wets himself a bit over You Say We Pay doesn't he?!)  Nevertheless, love them or loathe them this husband and wife will be on our screens for many years to come (unless of course we pay a hitman - does anyone know anyone?)  But I jest, I mean, what would you do without seeing Judy's baps each early evening - bet Richard has fun with them! 
     To illustrate just how professional the pair are (that's Richard and Judy - not Judy's baps!) there follows a transcript from a recent show. 
 
Richard: Good evening and welcome to the show.
 
Judy: Yes, hello.

Richard: Tonight on the show were going to look at legs.  Everyone has them, usually two, situated between their hips and their feet.

Judy: Unless you've had one amputated.

Richard: yes, that's right.

Judy: Or you could have had both amputated as a result of having a nasty accident.

Richard: Yes, sure, you're right.  I've never thought about it like that before.  It makes you think about how fortunate we are to still have both our legs, in full working order.

Judy: Yes it does.  We should count ourselves lucky.

Richard: As I was saying, tonight we're going to look at legs.

Judy: What, my legs?

Richard: Don't be silly Judy, who'd want to look at your legs?

Judy: Whose legs are we looking at then?

Richard: Well we're going to have a lot of pretty models coming into the studio, who have pretty legs, which makes a change from looking at your short fat hairy legs.

Judy: I've not got hairy legs.

Richard: And you're ugly.

Judy: I'm not ugly.

Richard: Yes you are darling.  Anyway, as I was saying -

Judy: Is this because I wouldn't give you oral last night?

Richard: Well there is that too, but you're still ugly.

Judy: I'm not ugly.

(She gets compact mirror out from her handbag and looks in it - it cracks.)

Richard: See!

Judy: Oh fuck it! 

(She looks down at her jugs, then grabs hold of them and pushes them up, smiling.)

Judy: I've still got a great pair of knockers though!

Richard: (looking at them and licking his lips) There is that, yeah.

Judy: I bet our male viewers are jealous of you getting to play with these beauties every night.

Richard: Is that why you always have them hanging out like that?

Judy: They're not always hanging out.

Richard: Oh no?  That dress you're wearing is a bit low-cut isn't it?

Judy: One day I'm going to get them out on live telly. I'm every schoolboy's fantasy.

Richard: Every schoolboy's nightmare, more like.

Judy: In fact, I'm going to get them out now!

Richard: No, you can't!  We've got to play, "You Say, We Pay".

Judy: (disappointed) Oh, can't we play, "Judy Gets Her Tits Out On Live Telly", instead?

Richard: No, I love that game, I always guess everything.  Just because you're crap at it.

Judy: I guess them too.

Richard: No you don't, you're thick.

Judy: (looking down at her tits and smiling) I've got nice jugs though!

Richard: (looking at them and licking his lips again) Yeah, there is that.